I want everyone to listen to what I have to say about this.
When someone tells you to not fuck around with this shit, it’s serious. Take it from me, I’ve done just about every pill and every combination of pills known to man.
Oxy was my drug of choice but I’d do anything you gave me- tabs, KPs, Xanax, Vicodin, some sort of synthetic heroin shit sometimes.
It’s crazy looking back at how quickly I got addicted. Pills became literally, my entire life. I chose pills over eating, pills over friends, nothing was as important as those oxys.
I’m pretty sure I’ve had minor ODs over the years. I’m also surprised that I’m alive to be honest. There were many times when I was so high I’d forget to breathe, like I had to FORCE myself to breathe.
It eventually got so bad that my body had stopped working right. I was unable to eat, puking even if I hadn’t, and at that, puking blood from stomach ulcers from all the pills. I couldn’t sleep, but was never really awake either.
I was not sad, or mad, or happy. I was nothing, I didn’t feel much of anything. Thats exactly why i loved those pills so much- they could mask anything. I guess I’ll always have issues with not wanting to feel my feelings as I’ve always been that way, but I’m glad I’ve started to be comfortable with feeling things.
EVERYONE: when people tell you that alcohol or drugs will make you forget about your bad situation they’re not lying. You do forget, but for a short amount of time. After that, the emotions and feelings come flooding back in such a great amount that no human can handle it. It’s inconceivable pain, it’s hard, it’s going to be the worst days of your life.
Please, please, please, do not do this to yourself. A few hours or days of peace is not worth making yourself sick. Getting off all this shit is the hardest thing you’ll ever do, I promise. If anyone is struggling with addiction or feels like they’re at risk, please message me and I’ll be more than happy to talk to you.